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Why Not Adoption?
Why is adoption chosen so infrequently as an alternative to abortion? |
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Education: A woman with a problem pregnancy has three choices: parenting, abortion, and adoption. Adoption, however, is often either quickly dismissed or not even considered. With so many infertile couples willing to provide a loving homes, why is adoption so rarely chosen?Since adoption is rarely spoken about, it may not even occur to some women to consider that option. Many mothers view |
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“giving away” their baby as abandonment, or being a bad mother.Or they feel that if they carry the baby through the pregnancy, they believe it will be too hard to then let their
baby go, and they would end up in the single parenting situation that they cannot face.They see abortion as preventing them from becoming a mother at all, rather than making them the mother of a dead baby.
Education on open adoption and the use of updated terminology can help.Adoption is not abandonment but a loving parenting choice, a way to provide a good home for a child, so "making an adoption plan" is more accurate than “giving a baby away” or “putting up for adoption.”Once abortion is rejected, and the mother develops a relationship with her baby, it can of course be painful to say goodbye. But since open or semi-open adoption allows the mother to get reports and pictures of her baby, she can be at peace in knowing that the baby is happy and well cared for. She can also write letters to her child, so that at an appropriate age they are able to understand that their birth mother did love them very much, but chose adoption because she was not able to provide the kind of home she wanted her child to have. See "Adoption Myths and Facts" on the CVL web site information page for more details.
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Prayer: Dear Father God, please help all women in crisis pregnancies to be informed about the option of adoption.Help them to see it as a loving way to provide for their child if they are unable to do so themselves.Help them to turn to you in prayer to discern your will for their child, and make the best decision for both themselves and their child.Help their family members to accept their decision and give them loving support.Bless families who want to open their homes to adopted children, and help them to be patient in waiting for the child you want to send them. |
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Action: Use the preferred terminology in speaking about adoption: "She made an adoption plan," rather than "she gave away her baby"; "They have children by both birth and adoption," rather than "They have 2 adopted kids in addition to their own"; "His birth parents," rather than "his real parents" - the adoptive parents are his REAL parents; "He was adopted," rather than "He is adopted" - adoption is an event in the past, not a characteristic of the person. If someone you know is considering abortion, invite them to explore the possibility of making an adoption plan. |
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